Coming Home
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: Post 11x02. An alternate possibility.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: For chellemaria. Reads as if the events in my Shiva tag, __**When It All Came Crashing Down**__, actually happened after Ziva's dad died. Hey guys, here's a little one-shot to tide you over while I continue wrestling with details for MIT. Hope you enjoy! :) Love ~Aliyah_

_You just made the biggest mistake of your life DiNozzo. You walked away, let her go. That was your chance and you blew it._

Tony slouched in front of his muted TV, a half-filled beer bottle held loosely in one hand. He'd been telling himself the same thing for three days, but no matter how much he regretted getting on that plane without her, the outcome was impossible to change. Dragging his palm over sandpaper cheeks, Tony heaved a soul deep sigh and debated whether he should actually go to bed tonight or just fall asleep in his clothes like he'd done every night since returning from Israel. So far he hadn't told anyone he was back. Gibbs probably knew, but for once the man was letting him wallow in peace. Tony just couldn't handle facing the others and trying to explain why he came back alone. He still wished things hadn't ended this way.

The clock flipped to 12:32 am and a soft knock marred the silence. Such an unexpected sound faded away and Tony wondered if he'd heard anything at all. Moments later it came again and his brow furrowed. Who would be showing up this late anyways? In years past an after midnight visitor was almost always his partner, coming to offer comfort or with a need she'd never actually let herself say out loud. But now...

Tony's mystery guest knocked again and he set his drink on the coffee table, rising to his feet and slowly making his way to the door. When it swung open to reveal the familiar figure of a woman who'd unwittingly claimed his heart when she sauntered into the bullpen and asked if he was having phone sex, he could only stare. The light in Ziva's eyes when she saw him faltered with his continued silence but Tony could barely get the words out.

"Please tell me you're not a hallucination," he managed hoarsely, voice rusty from disuse. It was the first time he'd spoken since boarding the plane.

Her lips curved in the faintest shadow of a smile and she reached out to squeeze his hand. "Do I feel like a hallucination Tony?"

His name on her tongue was nearly Tony's undoing and he pulled her into his chest, holding on so tight she probably found it difficult to breathe. "Thank God you're real," he whispered into her hair. Her body felt so right pressing against his and she fit in his arms like she belonged there. But before he could relax and enjoy the contact, he had to know. Tony let go like he'd been burned and took a step back. "What are you doing here?"

Ziva invited herself inside, in no hurry as she set down the bag he only just noticed she was carrying and took off her coat, hanging it on the hook beside his. She looked more relaxed than she'd been in Israel, he noted, but a fine vein of tension that found a mirror in him only a thousand times worse kept her posture impeccable and her expression a bit forced. She cast her gaze around the room and clasped her hands. "Do you have tea?"

The request as an answer to his question caught Tony off guard and he could only point to the kitchen. Ziva found the cupboard easily, having learned her way around long ago, and filled the kettle. Strained silence settled between them while she waited for it to boil and fixed her drink with great care. Finally she carried the mug to his couch and perched on one end. Anxious for some sort of explanation, Tony joined her cautiously, his knee bouncing rapidly up and down with nervous energy.

A small sip loosened her tongue and Ziva met his eyes for the first time. "I realized something after you left."

_After you made me leave_, Tony corrected silently, tasting the bitterness of her choice.

Seeing that he wasn't going to make this easy, she continued. "Just because I have vowed to let go of the badge and leave that way of life behind does not mean I have to let go of everyone connected to that life." She swallowed. "I thought I had to do this alone, start over, but if I am to follow my heart remaining in Israel was not possible."

Tony didn't allow himself any hope. "What does that mean Ziva?"

Ziva set her tea aside and moved closer to him, so close he could feel the heat from where her leg touched his, and brought both hands up to cradle his face. She was wearing the same grey sweater from the orchard, spun wool soft against his skin. "In Israel you told me you were fighting for me. No one ever has and I could not...understand, or accept that. But I know what I want and I am ready to...fight for you too." She held her breath at the end, ill at ease as she waited for his response. Never before had she put herself out there in such a way and been willing to give her heart into the care of a man. But this man she knew and Ziva trusted him with everything. The question only remained if he wanted all of her.

Tony released a shaky breath and slid his hand over hers. "Why do you think I spent a whole summer searching for you, hunting you down, following your steps? Since the explosion...since Somalia, all I've wanted is you."

A sheen of tears glossed Ziva's eyes as she remembered his barely spoken words under the cover of darkness on the night of her father's murder. He blinked against his own surge of emotion and suddenly Tony's lips were on hers, possessing her mouth fiercely, pouring everything out in a deep kiss that far rivaled their brief exchange at an Israeli airport. She cried when he let her go and Tony wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck.

Finally he cleared his throat and leaned back, using both thumbs to rub away the wet tracks on her cheeks. "I guess I lied about DiNozzo men not crying."

Ziva dragged a sleeve across her face. "I will not tell. And I am glad not to be the only suck."

He chuckled lightly. "Sap." Tony blew out a breath, absorbing the enormity of the last few minutes. "I never should've left you."

She trailed her fingers over his and held on. "Maybe I would not have figured this out if I had not thought I lost you." And with him all that was left to make sense of her world. Ziva brought her hands back to his cheeks and touched her lips to his as if testing the waters.

Tony responded immediately, a bit in awe at being allowed to touch her that way finally, and shifted back several inches when it ended. He ran his hand down a section of her hair. "What're you going to do now?"

She pulled on knee up and rested her chin on it, shrugging. "I do not belong in Israel anymore. There is too much hurt, too much fear. I miss the innocence I carried in that house, those first untainted years. Nothing is left for me in my country of birth and that makes me sad, in a way. But," Ziva studied him, "America is my home now. I have...family here, good friends, a history that is not full of shadows. I'm going to stay."

His brow furrowed. "What about your apartment?" She'd been gone so long and unexpectedly, surely the lease had lapsed by now.

"Gibbs put everything in storage for me, but I was hoping..." At this point her gaze strayed to the floor, drawing courage from the carpet weave to return to his. "Could I stay here, with you, for a few days?"

Tony abruptly stood and strode away, leaving Ziva wondering if she'd somehow misread the entire situation, but he was back in less than a minute and sitting facing her again, rolling the band of a delicate diamond ring between his thumb and forefinger. He stared at it intently, then locked eyes with her. "This is for you." He laid it in her palm, though her mouth open slightly in shock demanded an explanation. "It was my mom's, one of the only things I have left from her."

Ziva didn't understand. "Tony..."

He curled her fingers around the jewellery. "I want you to have it."

She licked her lips, totally distracting him. "Tony, this is an engagement ring."

"Yes it is." He took her other hand, bringing it to his lips, a reflection of his actions in the orchard. "I let you say it and I never said it back, I just kissed you and walked away. I love you Ziva."

"You said it," she reminded him softly.

"Oh." He'd let himself forget that she'd heard him that night nine months ago and once again it became a thing they never talked about. "Well, I never said it to your face. So there, I love you and I meant it when I said I wanted you to come home with me. Not just in the seat beside me, but with me."

"I know."

"Good." Tony tightened his grip on her hand. "This is the last time I want to spend months separated, not knowing where you are and if you're okay. I want something real and permanent and I want it with you. So hold onto that, think really hard about if you can handle what I mean. If your answer is yes, next time I'll ask the way you deserve."

Ziva held her closed fist to her heart and shut her eyes. Then she smiled slightly. "I want to not be alone anymore."

He grinned. "I think I can help you with that. For starters, I didn't answer your question - you are more than welcome to stay." _Forever_, his heart added in the breath after.

"Thank you." She picked up her tea but it had long since grown cold and Tony took the mug, dumping light brown liquid down the sink and offering his hand. Ziva accepted gratefully and he snagged her bag on the way by. He dropped it on the right side of the bed where she'd always slept when they shared, making his point quite clear that the couch, if she'd ever considered it, was not an acceptable option. She unzipped the small duffle, producing pyjamas and a toothbrush, and tucked the ring safely in a small pocket. Being the gentleman he was raised as, Tony gave her a couple minutes to change without staying in direct line of sight and Ziva joined him in the bathroom.

Toothpaste foam grins and silly, dripping expressions kept her amused the entire two minutes and ruined her concentration, but after he'd rinsed and wiped his face Tony got serious. "What about a job Zi?"

The old familiar nickname was a balm to her soul. "I am not thinking about that right now." He frowned and she fiddled with her toothbrush handle. "Everything my father left became mine. During my travels I liquidated every asset except the house in Be'er Sheva. Work is not a priority right now." She had a small fortune in diamonds hidden safely away, but that information did not need to be shared tonight.

Tony tangled their fingers. "What is?"

Ziva shook her head, soft waves swishing around. "Sleeping. Reading. Cooking. Dancing. Playing. I want to make up for the years I missed being a soldier instead of enjoying this life. I want to play tourist in my own city and spending hours wandering through a museum without looking for or baiting a target. I want to go to movies and run because I love it and to enjoy a beautiful day instead of for training. I want to find out what I love because so much of it was chosen for me. I want to draw and paint and ride horses and see children smile and stay in bed until noon just because I can." She paused for a moment. "And eat breakfast for supper because I have always wanted to do that but it was never allowed and I could not make myself break his rules even here. I want to grow flowers and travel and sing and play with puppies and pick apples from the tree. I want to make something with my hands instead of using them to tear down. I want to live."

She concluded her list with a brilliant smile that Tony had to feel against his own lips. "I think that sounds like a fabulous idea." They indulged in the kiss and then he led her back to his room and stopped to clasp the small Star of David from his pocket around her neck. "And what would you have from me Ziva David? I told you I would change with you. What's on my list? I'd do anything you asked, even give up movies." Although he did hope she wouldn't go that far.

"Do not," Ziva urged, allaying his fears. "That is one of the things I love about you." Her hands slid up his chest. "I love you too." She clutched the necklace. "Thank you for taking care of this for me."

He rested his forehead on hers, vulnerability out full force. "Be as careful with my heart, okay?"

"Tony," she said softly, "you have my most sincere promise." He pulled away when she leaned up to join their lips again and her brow furrowed.

Tony lifted a finger to trace her mouth. "Of any relationship I've ever had, this is the one that would ruin me if I screwed it up. I want to do things right with you Ziva, slow and careful instead of rushing in because I-we? have wanted this so long." She nodded to confirm his question. "So I'm not going to kiss you inside this room or while we're lying in bed." His lips quirked up in a half-grin. "Too much temptation."

There was wonder in Ziva's dark chocolate gaze and she pressed her face into his t-shirt. "No one has ever respected me like that."

His arms came around her. "I'm going to do my best to give you what you deserve. You, my beautiful, amazing best friend, are worth waiting for."

At that she squeezed him in a tight hug and let go, retreating to her side of the bed. She sat down carefully and reached into her bag for the ring. Ziva gently touched the gold circle laying innocently in her palm. "When did you decide this belonged to me?"

Tony's jaw clenched and he focused away from her. "When we brought you back alive."

_Somalia_. The memory of it hit her like a blow and she suddenly found breathing a challenge. "That was almost four years ago." All this time he'd been keeping it inside?

He sighed. "Tell me when the right time was Ziva, when we might've been able to make things work with us."

Time past unrolled before her eyes and she had to concede his point. "We did not even try until after the explosion." If it had ever been possible, that might've been the time. "And then my father..." When she'd abandoned all reason and become Mossad again for the sake of another cause. So much pain and loss because she refused to let that go. "I'm sorry." She owed him for all the time they'd missed.

Tony rounded the end of the bed and gently rubbed her back. He bent down to whisper in her ear. "I had the ring in my pocket as I was leaving for the airport, when a visit was supposed to be just about spending time with you instead of finding myself several steps behind for the entire summer."

She slid it back in the bag. "I don't know what to say."

"Tell me how I can change Ziva, tell me what I can do to make your choice worth the courage it took."

After a minute of thought she looked up. "Have eyes only for me Tony. Please try not to mention other women, I am not confident enough about this step to handle competition too. Do not drink to get drunk. And always, always wear your vest because I cannot bear the thought of losing you." She remembered her early days on the team and smiled hopefully. "No more suits? I find you very attractive in more practical and casual attire."

"Okay," he nodded, "all doable." And almost too easy. At some point her hand had ended up in his and Tony continued holding it like a great treasure. "I'll leave NCIS in the past Zi, if that needs to be part of the deal. I haven't gone in yet. I've been gone five months, Vance may want to re-think giving my badge back. And I can find something else, something different to match what you need."

Ziva shook her head. "No. Return to NCIS Tony. You are a cop. It is what you were born to do. And I love you for wanting to help others and find justice for victims and their loved ones. You deserve that badge."

The desire to break his word about kissing her in the bedroom almost overwhelmed him and he reluctantly put some space between them, taking in his apartment in a glance as he turned around. "Don't get too comfortable here." One eyebrow arched at the change in subject. "I'm moving."

Her head tilted the side. "Is that a recent development?"

"Well, the sniper kind of killed my homey environment, though the incident with my dad last year didn't help. And this place, it's cold Ziva, sterile. I call it my sanctuary but it may as well be a prison where I came to be alone so nothing could touch me." Tony's gaze found hers. "I don't want to feel alone anymore and I want to make a new start. Will you do that with me?"

She smiled. "If you are asking for my help, the answer is yes. How long do you think before Gibbs comes banging on your door and drags you back?"

Tony counted on his fingers. "I have eighteen days of leave left, but my best guess is he'll give me half that if I'm lucky." He flashed her a half-grin. "You doing anything tomorrow?"

Ziva moved her head from side to side. "Besides sleeping until noon, I have no other plans."

"Good." He yawned and pulled back the covers. "I'm thinking a very late breakfast at the bakery around the corner and a long afternoon of walking down any promising leads in the classifieds. Sound good?"

She settled beside him as if they'd done this every night of their friendship and rested her hand over his heart. "Yes Tony. Normal sounds very good."

**NCIS**

In the middle of the night, which was really early morning since they hadn't gone to sleep until around two, Tony woke with a start and pulled Ziva, who was laying innocently on her side a few inches away, tight against his chest. She was instantly alert, force of habit, and tensed as she tried to discern the source of the threat. It didn't help that Tony wouldn't let her move even a little and she struggled at the constraint. "Tony."

He adjusted his hold immediately, giving her the freedom to breathe, and uttered the hushed answer to an unspoken question into her hair. "I didn't want you to be gone when I woke up." How many times over those endless weeks had he dreamed of finding her only to have that hope ripped away when morning rays of sunshine entered whatever room he'd holed up in for exhaustion driven rest?

Ziva slid her hand to the back of his neck, her fingers sifting through the fine hairs at his nape, giving silent reassurance. "I made a promise," she whispered finally. "I do not break them."

Tony nodded slightly. "Okay," he managed. "Good to know."

She placed her palm on his chest, pleased to see that his heartbeat was slowly leveling out, and smiled slightly. "I'm going back to sleep now."

His heavy gaze followed the return to her previous position. "Does it have to be all the way over there?" Skeptically eyeing the minimal space between their bodies, she looked at him for an explanation. Tony sighed. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Saying what you mean would be helpful, yes."

Frustrated, he threw his arm out. "Did you miss the part where I love you?"

Ziva shook her head slowly. "No, that I remember quite clearly." She'd only desired that confession since...since...well, for a long time anyways.

"Or what I said about respecting you?" Again her answer was negative and he sighed. "So why the aversion to cuddling with me?"

"I am not...adverse to being close," she confided, keeping her eyes on the sheet.

That was it and Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Help me out here Ziva, please."

"I am afraid of getting used to it!" she spit out. "I am afraid of having one more thing that can be taken away."

He wanted so desperately to yank the ring out of her bag and push it with finality onto her finger to disprove her fears, but he'd left that matter in her hands and he sure as anything wasn't going to jump ahead on this of all things. Instead he grasped her fingers. "I'm safe Zi, I promise. It's okay to get used to being here, being home where you belong."

She swallowed. "That reality may...take some time to drop in."

Tony took a breath. "Let me try this again. Ziva, I've spent months trying to get closer to you. I'd really like it if you slept here," he pointed to the space directly in front of him, "beside me and in my arms. Will you?"

Ziva hesitated a good long while before moving back to where she'd ended up when he awoke in a panic. Once so close he could feel the heat from her skin, she took time deciding if she was going to lay down facing him or facing away. He almost liked it better when she chose facing away, because that way he could tuck her right against his body and enjoy the puzzle piece effect of how well they fit. Despite the obscenely early hour she had a difficult time returning to sleep, so unfamiliar was the position, but gradually the feel of his chest rising and falling against her back lulled her into dreams and she couldn't remember the last time being in bed had felt so peaceful.

**NCIS**

Gibbs gave them eight days. He showed up at Tony's apartment on Friday when they were elbow deep in half-packed boxes and the former (and reinstated) senior field agent got the headslap of a lifetime for keeping his partner a secret. Leroy Jethro Gibbs said nothing but 'Welcome home Ziver' when he wrapped his adopted daughter in his arms. Ziva held on tight, not able to hide the tears that came when he claimed her yet again. Stepping back, the team leader surveyed Tony's chaotic apartment.

"Find a place yet?"

Tony shook his head. Not for lack of trying though. They'd looked at rental units until he was sick to death of four walls, but nothing had been right.

Gibbs handed him a piece of paper. "Try this." He turned to walk out, then looked back and pointed at Tony. "You. Office. Monday. No excuses." He left as suddenly as he'd turned up and Tony frowned at the address.

"How does he do that Ziva?"

She smiled and shrugged, content to live with the mystery of how their boss operated.

Almost ready to give up, Tony agreed to go see one last place. Of course, because it was Gibbs, the apartment was just what they were looking for and more. A huge, beautiful kitchen for Ziva to putter around in, a decent sized living area with space for Tony's prized TV and expansive movie collection, their own laundry, a four piece bath, and even a spare bedroom. Grumbling about the unreal experience, he nonetheless signed his name on the lease right next to Ziva's and just like that they had their own apartment.

Two incredibly long days and twenty trips back and forth between the two places later, plus the extra he paid so someone else would move the bigger furniture and getting Ziva's things delivered from storage, Tony and Ziva could finally say they were moved in. Nothing was where it should be, boxes were being tripped over at every turn, the fridge held only milk and yogurt picked up at the corner store, but Tony didn't know the last time he'd been so happy. Caught up in the moment he swept Ziva into his arms and hugged her for a long time before kissing her, short and sweet, right on the mouth. "Thanks," was all that came out and though her mind and heart were both in a muddle she recognized what it meant to him that they'd made it here together. Now the question remained about what that really meant.

**NCIS**

Soon after they moved in came a night Tony lay in bed for ten minutes before realizing Ziva hadn't just been doing something in the spare room but planned to sleep there. Another quarter hour was passed running over everything from the last several days and trying to find a reason why she might've moved rooms. When nothing came to him he got up and wandered out, tapping lightly on the partially closed door before pushing it open. "Hey."

Ziva was curled on her side, half-way to sleeping, and looked up with confusion in her eyes. "Hi."

Tony studied her briefly. "Did I, uh, do something wrong?" Her brow crinkled and he gestured to the bed. "It's just...usually you sleep in my-our-" he fumbled with the phrasing because nothing permanent had been decided yet despite his hopes. "Look, we've been sharing for weeks. What changed?"

Her fingers wrapped around his wrist and she tugged gently. "Come here." He obliged and sat gently beside her. Ziva rubbed one thumb over his palm. "You have done nothing wrong Tony." On the contrary, he'd been about as close to perfect as a human man was capable of since the night she showed up on his doorstep.

"Then why am I alone in that bed tonight?" he asked quietly.

"I am...a very private person," she began. "And though I have never been more...content than these last few weeks with you, I think it finally hit me how much has changed." Ziva sighed and tried to pull her knees to her chest in a classic defensive position but his body blocked her movement. "Everything happened so fast Tony - coming back, finding this place and moving in, learning how to live differently, us." He wasn't sure what it meant that they came last in the last. "Sometimes I may just need a little space to process it all."

Tony swallowed, gripping her hand. "So this isn't a...forever change?" Sleeping beside her and often intertwined, though still fully clothed, had become such a part of his routine that he didn't think going back was possible.

It could've been a trick of the light, but he swore Ziva David actually blushed. "No," she said finally, "I will not stay here."

"Good." Tony brushed his hand over her hair and bent down, covering her mouth with his. He could feel her surprise and smiled against her skin. "I didn't promise not to kiss you inside this room."

Ziva drew him a breath closer and gave herself to the kiss in a way she was often afraid to. Nothing had ever felt so real and some days it scared her into inaction. "I love you," she whispered, feeling his sharp exhale. Those words had been rare since that first night as they settled into this strange new life, still feeling out how everything fit.

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on her cheekbone. "I love you too." Then he left in a hurry, not trusting himself to continue respecting her space. Tony flopped on the too big, lonely, queen mattress in an empty master bedroom and wished yet again that of any woman he might somehow be able to understand this one. Ziva, however, fell asleep wearing a smile. She'd never known the definition of home until now.


	2. Chapter 2

A month later Tony walked into work and McGee looked up expectantly. "How's Ziva?" It has become a favourite question as the weeks passed and he was just glad to have the opportunity to ask. They'd almost lost the chance to keep her as part of their lives.

Tony set his backpack down. He didn't mind that the team asked first about Ziva and that his activities, or lack thereof, were no longer a focus of conversation. "She's volunteering at an animal shelter this week, helping with baths and grooming and taking the dogs for walks, loves every minute of it. They got a couple puppies the other day and Ziva is beside herself. She can't stop talking about them. Has about a zillion pictures on her phone."

McGee smiled. "You getting a dog Tony?"

The senior field agent shook his head. "I don't think so. Not yet anyways."

"Well, I'm glad Ziva's enjoying herself."

"Yeah," Tony said quietly, "me too." He enjoyed giving updates about his significant other and the stories were always different as she'd been rushing to get through as much of her 'I want' list as possible since they'd unpacked the last box two weeks after he returned to NCIS. Last week her goal had been to read every Robert Munsch and Dr. Seuss book she could get her hands on, because they were fun and childlike and she wanted to know what she'd missed. He remembered passing that one onto McGee, "She got some weird looks at the library, let me tell you." But he wasn't about to let her think anyone else's opinion mattered.

Staying in bed until noon had been accomplished her first day but didn't really count since they hadn't gone to bed until it was already the middle of the night, so she'd indulged in the luxury a few times since. Far from the five am wake ups she'd been known for, Ziva was learning to sleep for full nights now and allow her body the rest it had been deprived of for almost two decades. He loved finding her still in bed when he finished getting ready for work and the challenge of kissing her gently without rousing the inner ninja.

She read every spare moment not taken up by other necessary chores, not the kids books that had been a short lived obsession but novels and biographies and amazing true stories and books about topics that interested her. And that in itself was an accomplishment, the interests she was discovering that she'd never been able to before. It was great to get home at the end of the day and see Ziva curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over her lap and a thick book cradled in both hands. She was always eager to get up greet him so he began coming in quieter and quieter just to get a few more seconds of watching her do something she loved. He'd never had that opportunity before and it was something to savour.

**NCIS**

The next weekend she finished her cereal and set the spoon neatly beside her bowl. "Would you like to go out with me today?"

His eyebrows rose. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Ziva pressed her lips together. "Not really. Just to go...out." She gestured to the window as if that would help explain.

Tony stuffed back his own selfish desires and found a grin for her. "You and me out on the town? I think I can handle that. What did you have in mind?"

She sipped the half-full mug of tea that was suddenly in her hands. "Playing tourist."

He waited until she put the mug down and rubbed his finger over hers. "And a few hours wandering through one of the museums?"

"I don't think so, not today," Ziva clarified. "There is no hurry."

Tony nodded, glad to be invited finally. She'd been doing so much by and for herself that he often felt left out. He wished she would include him more in the new life she was making, but he didn't want to push his way in or make her do anything. This was her choice, being here in DC with him, and he knew that no matter what he wanted he had to let her do it her own way. But being on the outside was hard when he'd waited so long for more.

**NCIS**

Though Vance gave them time to adjust to the hole in their team fabric, eventually the empty chair had to be filled. Leon was perfectly aware that Gibbs insisted upon choosing his own people but didn't give the team leader room for input when he walked into the bullpen one morning and announced that the newest member of Team Gibbs would be arriving that afternoon. Gibbs scowled and growled and grumbled and went out for coffee. Only Tony and McGee, who were studying the director quite diligently, noticed the twinkle in his eyes that hinted at more than had been said.

He escorted in a striking woman a few hours later, with dark eyes, shoulder length hair, and a posture that clearly pointed to some form of military training. "Agent Gibbs, I believe you've already met Mac."

He sized her up and nodded once. "Ten years ago. Death of a Navy Lieutenant."

"Yes," she said dryly, "one you tried to pin on my partner."

Gibbs sipped his coffee. "I followed the evidence. As I recall, he owes me a favour."

At this point Vance interrupted. "Mac will be the JAG liaison to your team. After the...difficulties we've had in the past, I decided the MCRT could benefit from having its own lawyer."

The glare was out in full force and Gibbs grunted. "DiNozzo, Rule 13."

Tony swallowed. "Yes Boss. Never, ever involve lawyers."

Mac smiled and held out her hand. "Lieutenant Colonel Sarah McKenzie Rabb, USMC. Semper fi."

Gibbs mask broke slightly and he accepted the handshake. "Ooh rah."

"I figured you could handle a fellow Marine," Leon continued. He looked at Mac. "Don't let him get away with anything."

"Oh don't worry, I won't." The director left and Mac set her things down beside Ziva's desk.

Intrigued by the exchange he'd witnessed, Tony's curiosity got the better of him. "Rabb? Wasn't that the name of the guy we investigated?"

Mac touched the slender bands adorning her left hand. "Yes. Harm and I have been married almost eight and a half years."

"Wow." Tony loved hearing about other couples who were making it, those stories gave him hope that he and Ziva had a chance. "Any kids?"

"The simple answer is yes," Mac answered, smiling.

His eyebrows lifted. "And the complicated answer?"

"We were both reassigned in 2005, shortly after his former foster daughter Mattie had been in a severe accident that left her temporarily paralyzed. Harm gave up his commission to be with her during rehab and the custody case was decided shortly before we relocated to San Diego for my posting. Mattie spent two years fighting to get her life back and walked out on her own two feet." She blinked back tears. "Shortly after that we found out I was pregnant, something of a miracle since previous medical issues lessened my chances. I took a leave of absence when Luke was born and we moved back to DC. Our daughter Sequoia joined us two years later, a little unexpected, and I'm only returning to work now because she started school this year." Mac cleared her throat. "And here I am, one of those moms who has to brag about her kids to every stranger she meets."

Tony gave her a half-grin. "Sounds like you earned the right." He let out a breath and gave her his hand. "Welcome to the team." After a brief pause he continued. "That desk...belonged to someone very special to all of us. It might take awhile to get used to you sitting there."

Mac read between the lines quite well. "I won't take it personally."

Tim was next to offer his greetings and they let Mac get settled in. Later when Gibbs still hadn't dismissed them she commented that it was twelve minutes after five and she had kids expecting dinner. Considering there was no clock in her line of sight and she didn't appear to wear a watch the boys immediately wondered how she could know that. A bit mysteriously Mac answered that she had great timing and began packing her bag. It wasn't until she'd put on her coat that Gibbs reluctantly agreed it was time to go. Somehow Tony knew she was going to fit in just fine.

**NCIS**

Time continued marching on without a pause and the wrinkles and tangles of two lives lived out in the same apartment did not just suddenly become straight and smooth. Although most of her nights were passed in bed with him, sometimes Ziva still slept in the spare room where she could find her space and time to think or work through something that was bothering her. Those were the nights Tony spent eight hours staring at the ceiling and wondering how long he could take the uncertainty and non-permanence of their nothing-yet state.

Except for the treasured first hours after she returned, they hadn't kissed all that much or been really close physically since she didn't really prefer snuggling in bed like he did, whereas Tony felt incomplete if he wasn't touching her in some way and tended to fall asleep stroking her arm or back just for some form of contact. And he feared she was trying to protect them from getting too attached in case their bubble suddenly burst and the whole tentative card house they'd been building fell completely to pieces. As if that problem didn't already exist. No amount of being apart or tactile deprivation would change what was in his heart for her.

Down in the lab one day Tony fiddled with a pencil while he waited for a machine to ding and Abby looked over at him. "It's so nice that you and Ziva are together now."

The previous night had been a lonely one filled with self-doubt and sick feelings related to losing everything that mattered, so Tony's confidence was not very high. "We're not really, together," he offered, something he hadn't shared with the others. They all just assumed and he preferred to keep it that way, but Abby seemed safe to tell.

Her pigtails moved when she tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I mean, we're together as in we live in the same apartment. But it's like...roommates, that's all. No uh...benefits." Not that he cared about the friends-with-benefits type of deal, but the real and forever and permanent one that included a lot of verbalized 'I love yous' and no limit on touching and kissing to express it without words was something he wanted rather desperately.

Abby crossed her arms. "Well how come?"

"Wish I knew," Tony muttered, then he cleared his throat. "Never mind. I better get back upstairs."

He was gone before her comment could reach the door. "Tony wait! Results!" But he didn't hear and some of the happy seeped out of Abby's world to know that her big brother wasn't.

Tony got home that night and was treated to dinner and a movie, an unexpected treat. A day of indulging her love of art put Ziva in a romantic mood, which she expressed with food, sharing his love of a different sort of art, and a couple hours of cuddling on the couch. He went to bed with a smile after that, pleased to have his partner back in the room. It was amazing the effect she had on his mood, because he spent the following day on Cloud Nine and took over the kitchen at the end to whip up omelettes, toast, turkey bacon, oatmeal with berries, and muffins from a mix so she could finally experience breakfast for supper. He got a kiss and a few tears for that when he finally called her out of the bedroom to see what he'd been up to. That made everything worth it.

**NCIS**

The second month found Tony bringing in food and dessert for the whole team every day. After the second appearance of neatly packed plastic containers someone voiced the question and Tony sighed. "She has about thirty cookbooks strewn around the kitchen and livingroom right now and she's trying anything that sounds good." He made a face and rubbed his stomach. "I've put on ten pounds just from all the dishes she's made me sample. Please, eat it." On second thought he pointed his finger at all of them. "But whatever you do don't tell my partner I'm sharing. She may be retired, but she's still dangerous."

The marathon cooking phase lasted two weeks and Tony told the team that by the end they had enough meals in the freezer to last them until Valentine's Day at least. Then Ziva moved onto other pursuits, namely dancing. Ballet had been a passion when she was young enough that her desires still mattered, but as she had taken no formal training for nearly twenty years it had to be worked back into slowly. She joined a class for mature students and went back to basics, her body gradually remembering many of its old lessons.

Ziva progressed fast and was promoted to a more advanced group, even taking part in a practice recital put on for the rest of the school. After it was over she took a step back and decided dancing, though she loved it, was something she'd rather do on a more occasional basis than all the time. But once in awhile, when she thought no on was watching, he'd catch her going through poses and executing simple steps, the flowing grace of her movements absolutely mesmerizing. Whether she would indulge it or not, Ziva David had the soul of a dancer and Tony found the effect breathtakingly beautiful.

Taking a break from her list, Ziva started relaxing a little and tried to find a semblance of routine in this new life she'd chosen. She began to show up at NCIS, little by little, to visit Abby for lunch or have tea with Ducky when there was no case. Director Vance did everything in his power to try and get her to come back, offering her several different positions within the agency before accepting that she'd made her choice. As a peace offering he gave her a permanent visitor's badge so she could come in whenever she wanted without the headache of being escorted everywhere. "After eight years of faithful service I know we can trust you Ms. David."

Ziva occasionally stopped by the bullpen with coffee for the team or just to say hello, but those moments became rarer after she walked in on them discussing a case and offered her opinion as if it was the most natural thing in the world. What she said made a lot of sense and McGee ran with it right away, no questions asked, but Ziva had shocked herself by slipping so easily back into that role. Rattled by her own actions, she took off and Gibbs let Tony go after her.

He found his girlfriend? roommate? partner? sitting on a bench outside the front doors, head hanging down. She sensed his presence before he said a word and closed her eyes. "I promised to let it go. Maybe...maybe I cannot turn off that part of myself Tony."

Rubbing her back slowly, he let the silence surround them. Everything he wanted to say about it not being such a bad thing or them being grateful for her help seemed to pale in comparison to the decision she'd made and in the end he didn't know how to help. Ziva appreciated his stillness, the way he grounded her simply by being there, and at last she touched his face gently. "I think I should not come for awhile. I'm sorry." She regretted that necessity only because she knew he loved to see her unexpectedly during the day.

But Tony surprised her once again, pressing a brief kiss to her cheek. "It's fine Zi, I understand. When you're ready, okay?"

So instead of visiting the building for the people, she found alternatives. On Saturdays and some evenings she could often be found in Gibbs' basement, helping him with the newest boat project as he'd finally gotten tired or little things that didn't require as much time and labour. Sometimes they talked and sometimes they didn't, it was enough to just be together. She joined Abby in volunteering at the soup kitchen and on sometimes visits to her biological brother's workplace. McGee taught her how to play video games and she worked in Ducky's garden alongside the older man, happily listening to any story he wanted to share.

Ziva also reconnected with Leyla and one day Tony came into the office in answer to a weekend call-in commenting that he left her playing hide and seek with Amira at Gibbs' house. It was good to make friends that did not belong to NCIS, especially a woman with whom she shared a similar background, and Ziva soon looked for other ways to meet people who were outside of the law enforcement world that had always been her comfort zone. Seeing that change made Tony uncomfortable, insecure, because he felt he was losing her in a way. If she didn't depend on him, on the team, for friend and companionship, where did that leave them?

**NCIS**

Five months into their little arrangement Ziva came to Tony when he returned from a Saturday breakfast run and gave back the ring. His heart thudded into his stomach as he stared at it, his whole world crumbling around him. This was the first time he'd seen the jewellery since giving it to her that first night, he had no idea that she'd kept it with her wherever she went, constantly thinking about what he said. Ziva always pushed the ring deep into her pocket to ensure its safety until one day she thought she'd lost the incredibly important object, prompting her to scour the entire apartment until she found it in the pocket of yesterday's pants. After that incident she found a thin strong chain to wear the ring on underneath her shirts, always close to her heart where it could never be misplaced. But because her significant other was not aware of the value she placed on that symbol, he assumed this was her answer - rejection of him and all he'd wanted for them.

When he finally made himself meet her eyes, however, Ziva was looking at him expectantly. "Isn't there something you wanted to ask me?"

Her smile gave him hope but Tony needed another minute before reality sank in. "You...want me to ask?"

Ziva tilted her head to the side, repeating his own words back to him, "If your answer is yes, next time I'll ask the way you deserve." One shoulder shrugged. "But I do not need anything special Tony, only you."

Tony's temporary paralysis lifted and he took a step closer, cradling her cheek in his palm. "Yes," he whispered, "you absolutely do need something special. I just..." he shook his head "...I've spent months not having a clue what's going on with us Ziva and the uncertainty has been killing me. I never knew if one day you'd just change your mind and be gone or what." His forehead leaned into hers. "So give me a couple days to plan something good, okay? Not that I haven't been thinking about it since I gave this to you, but I haven't let myself hope we'd get to have it for real."

Ziva's mouth brushed his, barely a whisper of a touch. "Take as long as you need." Then she slid her arms around his waist and he held her like he would never let go.

**NCIS**

Two days later they were taking an evening walk at the park, fingers linked between them, more at ease than they had been since the night she arrived from Israel. At a bench Tony stopped and sat down, bringing her with him, and Ziva smiled with the love he was now allowed to see in her gaze all the time. He cleared his throat and dug something out of his pocket. "I wanted to do something big and fancy and elaborate, something that would show you what your answer means to me, but I realized this morning that's not us. We're you and me, partners and best friends, work and movie nights, popcorn and takeout, simple and uncomplicated though we managed to make everything the opposite for so long." Tony looked down at their joined hands and wet his lips, green eyes locked on brown. "I love you Ziva. I would do anything for you, you know that. There is no one else I'd rather have by my side for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"

Although assured of her answer, his heart still stuttered while he waited for her to speak. Ziva opened her mouth but nothing came out, in the end she kissed him to hide the tears and whispered, "Yes," against his lips.

Like he'd wanted to do for all that time they'd been together and yet apart, he slid the ring gently onto her finger and then smothered her with a long, deep caress that stole both their breaths. Breathing heavily, he moved back a fraction. "Say it again."

She chuckled lightly. "Yes Tony, I will marry you."

Which was pretty much the best thing he'd ever heard in his life.

The new couple didn't sleep that night, it was impossible to settle enough for dreams to find them, so they sat on the couch kissing and talking in low voices as if anything above a whisper would break the spell. They made cookies in the middle of the night and laughed when the mixer cover was forgotten and dough splattered all over everything. They sat on the floor with their backs to the island and ate raw cookie dough and hot cookies out of the oven and savoured every moment of the joy coursing through them. It was something neither had ever expected to find.

**NCIS**

Tony and Ziva planned their wedding in less than a month. When the first April flowers began their slow journey towards the sun and gentle spring air, petals curling outwards to welcome a new season, Gibbs walked his third daughter down a short aisle to meet her beloved. Kelly, his first, the little girl who taught him to love. Abby, his second, the incredibly tenacious young woman who showed him it was possible to feel again, to open his heart and let others in. And Ziva, the unexpected delight out of a tragic situation. He'd never been more proud than he was at this moment.

McGee, as best man, had a wonderful view of the small gathering's reaction as the bride in white glided towards the man who held her heart. Said man valiantly tried to resist the tears that sprang to his eyes, but in the end let a few drip down before he wiped them away. His heart felt about ready to burst with all the love and euphoria built up inside. Tony waited as patiently as he could, and Gibbs took his own sweet time placing Ziva's hand in his, but finally they were joined by that innocent touch and turned to face the officiant.

Although they'd decided to say their own vows to each other, in the haze of wonder that surrounded them on this beautiful wedding day neither could claim to remember exactly what they shared. Thankfully McGee had foreseen that difficulty and arranged to have the short ceremony recorded so they could have it to keep forever. Finally those long awaited words were uttered, "You may now kiss your bride," and Tony did so with an enthusiasm that garnered cheers and wolf whistles from the guests and brought a tempting shade of pink to his wife's cheeks.

Congratulations were offered, toasts were made, and then miraculously the couple was left alone for a few fleeting moments. Caught up in the tumult of emotions, Ziva simply leaned into her new husband and asked quietly, "What happens now?"

Tony framed her face with his hands, fingers tangling in the tendrils of curls that had escaped from the mass of them gathered on top of her head. "Now?" he grinned, more alive and fulfilled than she'd ever seen. "Now, Ziva of mine, we live happily ever after." And as with all love stories, this one too was sealed by a kiss.

The End.


End file.
